Trick or Treat
by time4moxie
Summary: Christmas isn't the only holiday of the year to tell someone how you feel....


Trick or Treat 

It's been a week since she talked to him on the phone. She knows she's being silly, but she's found reasons to stay late every work night since. Part of her berates her foolishness, knowing that if he wanted to talk to her again, he would just pick up the phone and call in the middle of the afternoon, not after everyone else has left for the evening. But she can't help herself, she thinks. She's too afraid to do anything else but sit by the phone and hope.

The next week passes, and she's back to leaving promptly at five o'clock. Even she knows that two weeks without any contact means that he really did mean to call Kevin that night. She's angry at herself for believing things could go back to the way they were when he lived in Scranton. She's too afraid to do anything but try and forget the phone call ever happened.

It's now the third week of October, and she's been on her own for more than four months now. A whole season in the calendar. She moved into her own apartment during one of the hottest weeks on record for June, and her air conditioning didn't get fixed until 10 days after she had everything unpacked. Now the leaves have already starting to peak, and she's been so self-absorbed lately she's barely registered their beauty. She mourns the passing of the season, and hates to think that winter will soon be there. She been strugglingly lately with an overwhelming feeling of loneliness, but she's too afraid to reach out to the one person she knows would help. She'd had her moment weeks ago, but let it slip away.

Halloween fell on a Tuesday this year, and she was reminded of the holiday when the radio announcers listed the evening's trick-or-treating hours. She thought of all the years she'd enjoyed decorating up the house, putting on a costume herself, and handing out candy to all the kids in the neighborhood. This year her apartment living didn't lend itself to giving out candy. It was going to end up just like any other night of the year. That thought dug at the back of her mind all morning at work. She was too afraid that by being afraid she was setting herself up for a life of missed moments and ignored holidays.

She told Michael that she was taking the afternoon off. She didn't give a reason, which was fortunate because she probably couldn't have explained herself if asked. She might have been able to honestly say that she was feeling suffocated, but beyond that there really wasn't anything wrong with her. But she needed to get out. Out of the office, and out of Scranton. She stopped at her apartment, knowing exactly what box would have her old Halloween costumes. She grabbed her favorite and threw it in an overnight bag. She refused to think to much as she got in the car. She was too afraid she would talk herself out of what she needed to do.

The drive was long, just over three hours. She put the radio up loud and sang to ease her anxieties. She sometimes rolled the window down so the cold air would revitalize her spirit. She knew the way, even if she'd never driven it. She'd traced the route too many times on google maps not to recognize some of the landmarks. She drove a little faster than advised, but felt the need to get there as soon as she could. She was too afraid that she'd be late. Maybe weeks too late.

She pulled into a gas station a stop from his exit, and took her bag into the bathroom to put on her costume. She felt terribly silly, but knew this was the one night of the year she could pull it off without too many strange looks. It was a belly dancer's costume, one she had put together a few years back for an adults only party. It was comprised of two separate pieces - a halter top and a heavily layered skirt. Even as it seemed sultry, Pam had designed it for maximum coverage. The matching headress and veil made her feel very exotic. It took her a minute to get back out into the car in her new outfit. She was too afraid she was going to make a fool of herself, Halloween or not.

She knew from a quick search at work that trick-or-treat hours started at 5pm there, and so was more than a little disappointed to drive past his apartment and not see his car there. It was only twenty minutes before five o'clock, and she suddenly wondered if perhaps he wasn't going to be coming home to pass out candy. Maybe he would just stay at work, or maybe he was going out with friends. Or maybe going out with a date. She felt her stomach twisting and tears threatening to appear. She was too afraid that this was going to be a major disaster.

She parked a few apartment buildings up the road from his place, praying for a sign that she should wait or just turn around and go home. Costumed children with their parents and less-than-costumed teenages started to walk the sidewalks around her, all in search of their candy treats. She was about to drive away in defeat when she saw his familiar Toyota pass her. She watched him park his car, get out of his car with his suit jacket in hand, and walk quickly through his front door. She saw how his front porch light immediately flicked on, and he received his first visitors almost immediately afterward. She continued to sit in her car and watch him, close enough to hear him complimenting costumes and pretending to be frightened by pint-sized ghosts and pirates. She was too afraid to get out of the car and break the magical scene she was witnessing.

The sheer number of children wandering the neighborhood made her wait well over an hour to get out of the car. She wanted to be the only one to approach his door when her time came. But each instance she thought it was time, another group of boisterous kids came around the corner. It was well past dusk when she realised her opening had approached. She was so afraid that she was making a huge mistake.

She took a deep breath, shook out her skirts, and pulled the veiling on her headress down over her face. There were so many layers of gauze and chiffon that her eyes were really the only totally visible part of her. The tiny coins and bells she had hand-sewn on the hems years ago still made a delightful tinkling noise as she walked, and for some reason it gave her courage. She knocked on his door.

He opened the door, not even looking at her. "Trick or Treat?" she said with more aplomb than she felt.

He automatically grabbed a handful of candy from the bowl near the door. But he stopped in mid-reach to put it in her bag when her voice registered in his ears. He looked at her, as if trying to ascertain if the voice he thought he heard matched the face he could only partly see from behind the veil. With shaking fingers, she lifted the veil up and over her face. His eyes widened, and candy slipped from his fingers,sounding like pebbles scattering when the pieces hit the door frame and the porch.

"Pam?" he said, more of a whisper than a greeting.

"Trick or treat?" She repeated, never letting her gaze waver from his.

"Um, treat," he said, still sounding slightly shell-shocked. "Definitely, treat."

She knew then she no longer had any reason to be afraid.


End file.
